A work of Art
That is the artists hands
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Flat and worn left hand
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Round and warm right
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All of the lines and grooves
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Placed perfectly so
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Because of the hours spent moulding them
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Your Art shows up for you in so many different ways
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Today I’m honouring the hours spent
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Today I’m witnessing the flat rough bits
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The hunch of the shoulders
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The ache in the back
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The parts of you that whisper
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Keep going
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Without them
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The art would not exist
Reflection on Boundaries
There is this book that I have been reading lately that is called “Boundaries and Protection” by a woman called Pixie Lighthorse. This book has greatly changed my perspective on situations in my life that have made me feel manipulated....less than.....off kilter.
What I have figured out and witnessed with my own eyes and body, is that when you form a protective barrier of boundaries around yourself, there are going to be people who fall right off the map....as you set up these boundaries and stand firmly within them....they will wonder why you are saying “no” when you used to say “yes”.....They will wonder why you are changing.....why you have an opinion on what feels right and what feels wrong.
Creating boundaries can be hard.....it can be fiercely uncomfortable and outrageously lonely....but without them....the manipulations....have power to continue.
I’d rather live a full life staring into the abyss of the unknown, than consistently bending, smiling, pretending. Compromising mind, body and spirit.
So.....my shout out to you would be....if someone in your life is misusing their power, trampling all over you and making you feel like your emotions, sensitivities, words and opinions have no merit.....that your requests for communication, and compromise are outlandish....that you are too much......if someone continuously judges your moral code and standards of respect.....if someone wants you to change all the things that make you wildly wonderful.....chances are that some boundaries need to be gently lodged into place......
Don’t be surprised when these folks fall off your map.....it’s like you are holding their feet closer to the fire by creating safe boundaries for yourself....they have a choice to stay and burn up with you, to do the work.....or run.....
You are worthy of deep love, compassion and forgiveness. You are worthy of respect and being treated with integrity. If someone can’t meet you in the middle of your humanness.......let them go. You deserve to love and be loved......it’s going to feel like a long road.....but in the end....it will be worth every step......
Just some thoughts
This is the face of a gal who just spent a few hours reading over the words in her old journals....the very words she wrote as she travelled through the last 9 years of her life. Caught in a serious web of reflection of what was.......and how it moulded, and sculpted her......and made her bend, and bend, and bend.
Gloriously Grooming her into a shape She could hardly recognize....
There were times of strength and happiness, joy and deep warrior like resistance.......
and then also........so much silence....in a world of music, love, community, and opinion.....emotion, sensitivity....in a world full of happiness and utter elation you thought you could crack and bust right open....
there was.....in fact.....deafening silence.....lonely silence....heart pounding silence......the kind that makes you think of existence and how life is way too short....how fragile it all is....The kind where you could hear your own heart beating in your chest and in your ears if you listened and lay on the pillow just right...The kind of silence that keeps you up at night even when the t.v’s blaring in the other room....and other people are wandering about.
it reminds me that as we travel on our roads through the world....you never know what is happening behind the closed doors of strangers on the street and those we hold dear.....you never know what’s happening in the silence....
you never know that people could be trying their hardest to fundamentally change their best friends and lovers into forms that suit them so much better. To wear them in like an old suit coat or a favourite pair of shoes. Years and years of slow wear will eventually make anything feel comfortable....as long as you have patience, persistence....and subtle knowhow.....you can break in anything
But when you resist....when you refuse to bend....the loneliness starts to feel like a welcome friend....a friend that no one else even knew existed....because you are incredible at keeping it hidden.....then.......finally.......again......
silence....
Not the scary kind though....the real kind of silence that is as big and warm as a mothers hug....and says to you with a sweet whisper in your ear.....”you knew all along dear one, you are safe and loved beyond all measure....now you can be who you always knew you were....she’s been in there all along....spending way too much time...........resisting”