First Show Of The Year (Blog)

First Show Of The Year

I haven’t played for a really long time

My fingers

Usually hard from hours worked

Have lost their calluses.

Yesterday my guitar somehow made its way downstairs.

I really don’t know how.

She just kinda.......Showed up......

I unzipped her from her case

And told myself to bust out a couple

Just for old times sake

A few strums turned into more

And couple of crappy recordings

That led to the decision

To take this rusty show on the road.....

Alllll the way out to the back yard

A few neighbours saw me inching my way out of the house with my

Guitar, water and wine in hand.

They waved happily

(I would have waved back but my arms were full and I was trying really hard to not be noticed)

I felt timid......and shy......

But I did it anyway...........

I put on an epic backyard show

For the birds

The plants

My very surprised sweetheart

(Who was so excited to hear me sing a few because it’s been a really long time)

And some unsuspecting neighbours who sat quietly out in their backyard and listened....

I was nervous

But I sang anyway

I started soft and sweet

By the end........

I was singing

Top volume

Letting the songs flow in like old friends that I haven’t seen for a very long time.

Rolling the wine over my tongue in between tunes.....

And just

Taking it all in

Remembering

Feeling

My voice

The way my guitar felt in my hands

And the way playing music makes me forget for just a moment.

It felt strangely new and good and totally loving.....

And I was so grateful.

Playing this year has been tricky to navigate.....

Online spaces feel glitchy and shakey.

Its a great tool

However

It kinda sucks the life outta the feeling for me.

Sucks the life out of the music.

It’s hard to explain

I hope I can one day

But for now.....

I see the wave on the horizon

The wave of playing again

The wave of asks

and shows and festivals

I don’t feel ready......

And that’s ok.....

I don’t know what my first show back is going to look like........

But I know it’s going to be

So good And So loving And So held

And So welcomed

I’m grateful for this guitar

I’m grateful for this voice

I’m grateful for you